Are You Happy...Finding Your Happiness

Of course I'm happy what kind of question is that, or am I?

 My husband was briefing me about a conversation he had with a Freind about finding happiness, and what truly makes us happy when I started to wonder about my own happiness, was I happy? I've always been a positive, upbeat person that saw the best in people and life. I have noticed in the past few years that my view of seeing the best in people has changed somewhat, it's skewed from being disappointed in people and situations over the years but I still have faith, now I listen to my instinct and try not to sway from initial feelings. 

So am I happy?? Lets see I find funny things to laugh at on a daily basis, ok thats a start, I do have moments of uncertainty and doubt about everything and anything, wether I'm a good enough mother, or freind, or wether I'll have enough hours in the day to do what I need with our business. I fall into the trap of working too much and not taking care of myself, its been years since I stepped into a gym of any kind, I am two years over due for a physical, rarely have lunch with my girlfriends.

So what makes me happy these days, I had to make a list of ten things since I needed to get to the bottom of this question, and I felt it wasn't looking too good.

 10 Things That Make Me Happy

1. Waking my son up in the morning and cuddling with him

2. My morning cup of coffee in the company of our dog

3. Taking pictures of our beautiful jewelry designs

4. Making a dinner my husband raves about

5. Redecorating

6. Mani's & Pedi's

7. Small amounts of alone time

8. Talking to my mom and dad

9.Writing

10. Having my own family

Wow, that was important to do, I could have gone on and on and never realizing beforehand how many things make me happy. Looking at my list I am obviously aware that this is a very different list than it would have been five, ten or even fifteen years ago, but isn't that how life goes, it changes and we flow (hopefully) with the changing tides of our life.

Yes I am happy, my "happy" priorities have changed for sure and that was confusing me, I wasn't unhappy it's just that the things that make me happy these days are very different than what I remember about what made me happy ten years ago; when I look at my list it makes me happy and what more can I ask for!

if you're unsure about your own happiness why don't you make a list of ten things that make you happy and see if that helps, it did for me and I am so grateful and thankful I did!

Couples Therapy Part One

Yesterday was a unique day for me in the respect that I gave my father who is nearly eighty years old and his wife relationship advice, separately mind you without either of them knowing I would be speaking to the other. Strange yes but uniquely satisfying and pretty cool since my dad thanked me profusely for my advice, said it made sense to him, and even said he would try to use some of it, wow!! I never in a million years could have imagined I would be helping my dad with his relationship at this stage in our lives or any for that matter, it also saddens me to know that at his age he's still having serious relationship problems.

What's with that??!! Do we ever move forward, beyond our own egos to have a relationship without petty differences that escalate into deal breakers, relationship road bumps, or even divorce after seventy? Ok I get it if the relationship is destructive and abusive, but should couples walk away from long marriages for the sake of being bored and annoyed with each other, or should they try like my dad and his wife to get supportive help from a therapist and a little advice thrown in from a daughter? A dear friend of mine told me an interesting antidote the other day about three elderly women she knows who've recently lost their husbands, one of them is so sad and misses her loving husband so much, she actually said that she wished he hadn't been so nice to her so she wouldn't miss him so much, the other two ladies were so relieved about their husbands passing that they've just started to have the time of their lives!

Kind of funny but really it's so sad, should these women who are only now having the" time of their lives" have left their husbands years ago, would they have had the times of their lives a long time ago? I definitely don't have the answer that's for sure, I don't even know if my dad an his wife would be better off together or separated, I do know it would be very hard on my dad who is beginning to have some minor memory loss, and hope with all my heart that they work out their problems and live peacefully, happily, lovingly, and respectfully together for the rest of their lives. 

I Am So Thankful!!!!

I was browsing my Facebook feed last night and was amazed as usual by the amount of seemingly inconsequential events and mundane antidotes people post, as I was about to get deeper into my curiosity about why, I decided to take a different train of thought; maybe all of this is ok, maybe we should just give thanks all the time for these little things in life because we don't exactly know what tomorrow holds. 

I mean we make our plans and go about our business but one of my favorite little sayings goes like this, "people make plans and God laughs". So today this post is about being Thankful, for all the big, medium, and little things in life, be it a great business deal that  went through, an awesome meal you or a loved one cooked, the insatiable giggles of your kids, maybe the yellow butterfly that you saw leaving the house today, the news that your results came back cancer free, the way you miraculously swerved out of the way of that truck, the phone call from your best Freind that kept you going that day, your brother who survived a near fatal heart arrest, the list goes on and on.

In the wake of the devastating Typhoon that hit the Philippines last weekend, at more than 230 miles an hour I really have been brought back to the reality of what matters in life, why does it take these terrible disasters to make us reconnect with our purpose, our humanness, I don't know. 

With the Thanks Giving Holiday just around the corner lets not wait to give thanks, lets start today to give thanks for all the precious little, medium and big things in our life, if like attracts like, if energy attracts like energy then the more we give Thanks the more beautiful moments we will have to be thankful for! Thank You!!! Thank You, Thank You!!!!!

Theresa Turchin Part 2 Tenacity Baby

I've been promising to post more parts of my personal history since starting this blog, and really that was only a couple months ago, as much as I've wanted to share I never wanted to sound full of myself or God forbid, yawn, boring, but just wanted to give a fun and factual overview of why I started this blog, (to share what Ive learned) and what my cred's are to be doing so.

Ok so here goes if you read my first blogpost ever you would know I was raised in a little town in Connecticut, Simsbury to be exact about 40 minutes outside Hartford and almost three hours outside   NYC. Looking back I can see now that I always had an entrepreneurial spirit, from corner lemonade stands, cookie stands, whatever I could sell stands, making the most of my weekly chores for $$ to fibbing about my age at fifteen (no one checked) and being hired as a waitress at a neighborhood Italian Eatery; I was terrible, constantly forgot orders since I was never taught a thing but had a great attitude, Big smile, and Farrah hair, I got amazing tips but then they found out how old I was and had to let me go since I was serving alcoholic beverages...oops.

I had a few more jobs, sales clerk at a local five and dime (yes a long time ago,the 1980's) and at a small mom and pop Drug Store, neither of these establishments exists today. It was only two years after my waitressing gig that I was signed with Elite Models in NYC. I NEVER  had a plan I just went with the flow and when opportunity presented itself I grabbed it and wouldn't let go.

I remember when I was sixteen, still in Connecticut I was trying to get some modeling test shots done so I could get a portfolio started, I called this local Hartford based photographer I found in the yellow pages (the book for searching way before google), I must have left five, six, seven messages and finally on the last call got a hold of him and we did some great pictures!

A year later after I was signed with Elite in NYC he booked me for a local catalog with a few other local girls and NYC models, I'll never forget the story he told all of us as we were doing our makeup in the dressing room about the little Simsbury girl that didn't leave him alone until she got her pictures, he praised my tenacity in front of everyone, I felt super proud and to this day always remember that moment and to never give up but keep trying and so far it's panned out pretty nicely!

Zara Love Hate Relationship

My husband loves Zara the clothing store, not so much for the cheap prices and European design but firstly for the fit. For an American man he is unusual since he is very slim and just about 5'8", he says anyway, I'm 5'8" and I'm taller but that's not the point in this post(😉).

Zara clothes fit him perfectly or closer than any other brand without alterations, which is huge no pun intended and the style of Zara is of the moment Euro-Cool. The other day he said he was going to stop by the south beach location so I went online picked out some tops that looked cute at a price tag of between 39.00-59.00 each and sent the pictures to his iPhone with size specifications. He came back with the three tops in the sizes I asked (I just learned a new way of shopping.... In Love) and all three fit perfectly and in person were cuter than online, the fabrics felt expensive and the style's were very modern. My husbands choices for himself had the same impact, then I began to wonder, what kind of fabric are these clothes made with, and how long will they really last being washed time after time. Do you dry clean them to ensure they will last, they're so cheap does it matter, maybe I would buy that do it yourself dry cleaner for the dryer, Dryel I think it's called.

 In any case I was so excited by my new tops that two weeks later when I was in the area of Zara I made time for a pit stop to check out their New South Beach location. Walking in the front door I felt like I had found a secret fashion destination in Europe, it's been close to thirty years since I lived in Paris but this store and it's fashion sense reminded me of stores I frequented back then, oh the memories. Back on subject here I danced around the store with armloads of goods piled high until my arms couldn't bear the weight and I aimed for the dressing room with a giddiness I haven't felt in years. The sweet attendant showed me my room and inside I was about to try on and soon own all the seasons must haves for a fraction of the price, oh I couldn't wait! One item after another was put back on the hanger for mostly fit issues, but I still had high hopes, so I did another round of the store this time with a keener eye than the first light hearted attempt. An hour later standing alone in my fitting room with not one garment, I began to think I could have probably chosen five or six items priced between 20.00 to 89.00 each but I kept finding fault with each one, was I being too hard on this inexpensive fashion brand, should I have adverted my eyes to jeans that didn't give my butt the boost I'm used to, the t shirts that didn't fit just right and don't hug the curves I want to hide, the white men's inspired shirt that had a tad too much starch sending the collar and cuffs alarmingly straight, should I have ignored the cool sweat pants whose crouch was too baggy and legs were too tight? 

In hindsight I should have grabbed a few of their spaghetti strap t shirts great for under jackets blouses, ect, a pair of the jeans were pretty awesome if a bit tight on my muscular calfs, I probably could have taken the slight tension for fashion, or could I have? I like any other women on the planet like a good deal and Loves a great deal, which for me is to find a fabulously made garment at half the price or more, that kind of find will make my day! I still like Zara don't get me wrong but I won't ever fill my closet entirely with the brand, a few pieces here and there still give me that Giddy feeling of the secret store I found with cheap prices but won't make me end up feeling I'm wearing cheap clothing!

Who Pays For Lunch?

'I remember a decade ago when invited to a business related lunch that the person who invited paid, or the person that wanted your business paid. In the New economy the lines are much grayer and smudged it seems, it's all very confusing and could even end up causing bad feelings if the person who ultimately pays feels taken advantage of. 

My husband and I were looking at locations for a New store for our brand Turchin Love and Light Jewelry with a real estate agent the other day, we met her at her office at 11:15 and spent a couple hours in her car driving around the city, my stomach was growling by 1:00 so I mentioned that we should stop and eat. Our agent helped us choose a good but pricey restaurant she frequents and was silent as the bill came, but as usual in such situations my husband swiftly took the check and paid without missing a beat, I guess I wasn't so surprised that we paid but that she didn't offer or even say Thank You, that silence was the thing that truly bothered us so I started to do some research on business lunch etiquette and protocol.

In today’s economy According to a New York Times article about power lunches, Laura M. Holsen says, “Not surprisingly, the politics of the business lunch have tilted toward the haves versus the have-a-littles. Nowadays, picking up the check is often a reflection of whose corporate balance sheet is in better shape.”

Basically, when people pick up the check, they are asserting their company has more money than the other.  So does this mean the person who makes more money is supposed to pay?   Or should you employ traditional wisdom:  the person who arranged the meeting, pays for the meeting? Well If this is true our realtor's Company would be the bigger (by far) entity and according to this article should have paid. I would have been fine with us paying but a Thank You would have gone a Long way! 

People lets not forget the simple yet profound etiquette of Please and Thank You.😊

***UPDATE **** Our realtor sent us an email two days later ith some updates on properties and did say Thank You or lunch!! Phew.....I was really wondering!!!