Are You Happy...Finding Your Happiness

Of course I'm happy what kind of question is that, or am I?

 My husband was briefing me about a conversation he had with a Freind about finding happiness, and what truly makes us happy when I started to wonder about my own happiness, was I happy? I've always been a positive, upbeat person that saw the best in people and life. I have noticed in the past few years that my view of seeing the best in people has changed somewhat, it's skewed from being disappointed in people and situations over the years but I still have faith, now I listen to my instinct and try not to sway from initial feelings. 

So am I happy?? Lets see I find funny things to laugh at on a daily basis, ok thats a start, I do have moments of uncertainty and doubt about everything and anything, wether I'm a good enough mother, or freind, or wether I'll have enough hours in the day to do what I need with our business. I fall into the trap of working too much and not taking care of myself, its been years since I stepped into a gym of any kind, I am two years over due for a physical, rarely have lunch with my girlfriends.

So what makes me happy these days, I had to make a list of ten things since I needed to get to the bottom of this question, and I felt it wasn't looking too good.

 10 Things That Make Me Happy

1. Waking my son up in the morning and cuddling with him

2. My morning cup of coffee in the company of our dog

3. Taking pictures of our beautiful jewelry designs

4. Making a dinner my husband raves about

5. Redecorating

6. Mani's & Pedi's

7. Small amounts of alone time

8. Talking to my mom and dad

9.Writing

10. Having my own family

Wow, that was important to do, I could have gone on and on and never realizing beforehand how many things make me happy. Looking at my list I am obviously aware that this is a very different list than it would have been five, ten or even fifteen years ago, but isn't that how life goes, it changes and we flow (hopefully) with the changing tides of our life.

Yes I am happy, my "happy" priorities have changed for sure and that was confusing me, I wasn't unhappy it's just that the things that make me happy these days are very different than what I remember about what made me happy ten years ago; when I look at my list it makes me happy and what more can I ask for!

if you're unsure about your own happiness why don't you make a list of ten things that make you happy and see if that helps, it did for me and I am so grateful and thankful I did!

Couples Therapy Part One

Yesterday was a unique day for me in the respect that I gave my father who is nearly eighty years old and his wife relationship advice, separately mind you without either of them knowing I would be speaking to the other. Strange yes but uniquely satisfying and pretty cool since my dad thanked me profusely for my advice, said it made sense to him, and even said he would try to use some of it, wow!! I never in a million years could have imagined I would be helping my dad with his relationship at this stage in our lives or any for that matter, it also saddens me to know that at his age he's still having serious relationship problems.

What's with that??!! Do we ever move forward, beyond our own egos to have a relationship without petty differences that escalate into deal breakers, relationship road bumps, or even divorce after seventy? Ok I get it if the relationship is destructive and abusive, but should couples walk away from long marriages for the sake of being bored and annoyed with each other, or should they try like my dad and his wife to get supportive help from a therapist and a little advice thrown in from a daughter? A dear friend of mine told me an interesting antidote the other day about three elderly women she knows who've recently lost their husbands, one of them is so sad and misses her loving husband so much, she actually said that she wished he hadn't been so nice to her so she wouldn't miss him so much, the other two ladies were so relieved about their husbands passing that they've just started to have the time of their lives!

Kind of funny but really it's so sad, should these women who are only now having the" time of their lives" have left their husbands years ago, would they have had the times of their lives a long time ago? I definitely don't have the answer that's for sure, I don't even know if my dad an his wife would be better off together or separated, I do know it would be very hard on my dad who is beginning to have some minor memory loss, and hope with all my heart that they work out their problems and live peacefully, happily, lovingly, and respectfully together for the rest of their lives. 

I Am So Thankful!!!!

I was browsing my Facebook feed last night and was amazed as usual by the amount of seemingly inconsequential events and mundane antidotes people post, as I was about to get deeper into my curiosity about why, I decided to take a different train of thought; maybe all of this is ok, maybe we should just give thanks all the time for these little things in life because we don't exactly know what tomorrow holds. 

I mean we make our plans and go about our business but one of my favorite little sayings goes like this, "people make plans and God laughs". So today this post is about being Thankful, for all the big, medium, and little things in life, be it a great business deal that  went through, an awesome meal you or a loved one cooked, the insatiable giggles of your kids, maybe the yellow butterfly that you saw leaving the house today, the news that your results came back cancer free, the way you miraculously swerved out of the way of that truck, the phone call from your best Freind that kept you going that day, your brother who survived a near fatal heart arrest, the list goes on and on.

In the wake of the devastating Typhoon that hit the Philippines last weekend, at more than 230 miles an hour I really have been brought back to the reality of what matters in life, why does it take these terrible disasters to make us reconnect with our purpose, our humanness, I don't know. 

With the Thanks Giving Holiday just around the corner lets not wait to give thanks, lets start today to give thanks for all the precious little, medium and big things in our life, if like attracts like, if energy attracts like energy then the more we give Thanks the more beautiful moments we will have to be thankful for! Thank You!!! Thank You, Thank You!!!!!

Theresa Turchin Part 2 Tenacity Baby

I've been promising to post more parts of my personal history since starting this blog, and really that was only a couple months ago, as much as I've wanted to share I never wanted to sound full of myself or God forbid, yawn, boring, but just wanted to give a fun and factual overview of why I started this blog, (to share what Ive learned) and what my cred's are to be doing so.

Ok so here goes if you read my first blogpost ever you would know I was raised in a little town in Connecticut, Simsbury to be exact about 40 minutes outside Hartford and almost three hours outside   NYC. Looking back I can see now that I always had an entrepreneurial spirit, from corner lemonade stands, cookie stands, whatever I could sell stands, making the most of my weekly chores for $$ to fibbing about my age at fifteen (no one checked) and being hired as a waitress at a neighborhood Italian Eatery; I was terrible, constantly forgot orders since I was never taught a thing but had a great attitude, Big smile, and Farrah hair, I got amazing tips but then they found out how old I was and had to let me go since I was serving alcoholic beverages...oops.

I had a few more jobs, sales clerk at a local five and dime (yes a long time ago,the 1980's) and at a small mom and pop Drug Store, neither of these establishments exists today. It was only two years after my waitressing gig that I was signed with Elite Models in NYC. I NEVER  had a plan I just went with the flow and when opportunity presented itself I grabbed it and wouldn't let go.

I remember when I was sixteen, still in Connecticut I was trying to get some modeling test shots done so I could get a portfolio started, I called this local Hartford based photographer I found in the yellow pages (the book for searching way before google), I must have left five, six, seven messages and finally on the last call got a hold of him and we did some great pictures!

A year later after I was signed with Elite in NYC he booked me for a local catalog with a few other local girls and NYC models, I'll never forget the story he told all of us as we were doing our makeup in the dressing room about the little Simsbury girl that didn't leave him alone until she got her pictures, he praised my tenacity in front of everyone, I felt super proud and to this day always remember that moment and to never give up but keep trying and so far it's panned out pretty nicely!

Zara Love Hate Relationship

My husband loves Zara the clothing store, not so much for the cheap prices and European design but firstly for the fit. For an American man he is unusual since he is very slim and just about 5'8", he says anyway, I'm 5'8" and I'm taller but that's not the point in this post(😉).

Zara clothes fit him perfectly or closer than any other brand without alterations, which is huge no pun intended and the style of Zara is of the moment Euro-Cool. The other day he said he was going to stop by the south beach location so I went online picked out some tops that looked cute at a price tag of between 39.00-59.00 each and sent the pictures to his iPhone with size specifications. He came back with the three tops in the sizes I asked (I just learned a new way of shopping.... In Love) and all three fit perfectly and in person were cuter than online, the fabrics felt expensive and the style's were very modern. My husbands choices for himself had the same impact, then I began to wonder, what kind of fabric are these clothes made with, and how long will they really last being washed time after time. Do you dry clean them to ensure they will last, they're so cheap does it matter, maybe I would buy that do it yourself dry cleaner for the dryer, Dryel I think it's called.

 In any case I was so excited by my new tops that two weeks later when I was in the area of Zara I made time for a pit stop to check out their New South Beach location. Walking in the front door I felt like I had found a secret fashion destination in Europe, it's been close to thirty years since I lived in Paris but this store and it's fashion sense reminded me of stores I frequented back then, oh the memories. Back on subject here I danced around the store with armloads of goods piled high until my arms couldn't bear the weight and I aimed for the dressing room with a giddiness I haven't felt in years. The sweet attendant showed me my room and inside I was about to try on and soon own all the seasons must haves for a fraction of the price, oh I couldn't wait! One item after another was put back on the hanger for mostly fit issues, but I still had high hopes, so I did another round of the store this time with a keener eye than the first light hearted attempt. An hour later standing alone in my fitting room with not one garment, I began to think I could have probably chosen five or six items priced between 20.00 to 89.00 each but I kept finding fault with each one, was I being too hard on this inexpensive fashion brand, should I have adverted my eyes to jeans that didn't give my butt the boost I'm used to, the t shirts that didn't fit just right and don't hug the curves I want to hide, the white men's inspired shirt that had a tad too much starch sending the collar and cuffs alarmingly straight, should I have ignored the cool sweat pants whose crouch was too baggy and legs were too tight? 

In hindsight I should have grabbed a few of their spaghetti strap t shirts great for under jackets blouses, ect, a pair of the jeans were pretty awesome if a bit tight on my muscular calfs, I probably could have taken the slight tension for fashion, or could I have? I like any other women on the planet like a good deal and Loves a great deal, which for me is to find a fabulously made garment at half the price or more, that kind of find will make my day! I still like Zara don't get me wrong but I won't ever fill my closet entirely with the brand, a few pieces here and there still give me that Giddy feeling of the secret store I found with cheap prices but won't make me end up feeling I'm wearing cheap clothing!

Who Pays For Lunch?

'I remember a decade ago when invited to a business related lunch that the person who invited paid, or the person that wanted your business paid. In the New economy the lines are much grayer and smudged it seems, it's all very confusing and could even end up causing bad feelings if the person who ultimately pays feels taken advantage of. 

My husband and I were looking at locations for a New store for our brand Turchin Love and Light Jewelry with a real estate agent the other day, we met her at her office at 11:15 and spent a couple hours in her car driving around the city, my stomach was growling by 1:00 so I mentioned that we should stop and eat. Our agent helped us choose a good but pricey restaurant she frequents and was silent as the bill came, but as usual in such situations my husband swiftly took the check and paid without missing a beat, I guess I wasn't so surprised that we paid but that she didn't offer or even say Thank You, that silence was the thing that truly bothered us so I started to do some research on business lunch etiquette and protocol.

In today’s economy According to a New York Times article about power lunches, Laura M. Holsen says, “Not surprisingly, the politics of the business lunch have tilted toward the haves versus the have-a-littles. Nowadays, picking up the check is often a reflection of whose corporate balance sheet is in better shape.”

Basically, when people pick up the check, they are asserting their company has more money than the other.  So does this mean the person who makes more money is supposed to pay?   Or should you employ traditional wisdom:  the person who arranged the meeting, pays for the meeting? Well If this is true our realtor's Company would be the bigger (by far) entity and according to this article should have paid. I would have been fine with us paying but a Thank You would have gone a Long way! 

People lets not forget the simple yet profound etiquette of Please and Thank You.😊

***UPDATE **** Our realtor sent us an email two days later ith some updates on properties and did say Thank You or lunch!! Phew.....I was really wondering!!!

Gimme Sleep

Why did I ever take for sleep for Granted ???? I used to turn over on my side, fall asleep in a minute or two ( I actually still Fall asleep easily) and sleep the entire night undisturbed. My husband on the other hand has had trouble sleeping for as long as I've known him (19 years) and wakes up multiple times during the night, and for twelve years his sleeping patterns never bothered me, until now. 

I am now seriously startled at the slightest movement in bed, or smallest sound, my heart races and can take me hours to fall back asleep if I'm given that privilege, sometimes that's it for the night! 

Ok so what's changed, well I did have our son five years ago, a year afterwards I started peri menopause, now in full menopause, ok that makes sense but how do I function without my sleep???

 I'm personally opposed to taking meds for menopause since my worst symptom is waking up at night, no sweats and a relatively decent mood ( ok I can get bitchy but hey he deserves it...ha); so I have tried some natural meds, melatonin, camomile, even  L-Tryptophan. Yes they all work great at putting me to sleep since I have No problem with that Thank God but not Great at helping me fall back asleep at 4:00am since I don't want to be taking a sleep aid three hours before I need to be up!

I have tried getting up drinking tea ( then I have to pee an hour later ) reading, surfing the net, snacking not a great idea, then I read in a blog a sleep tip that (Thank Goodness I decided to try), because it helped me not once but for an entire month now! This is a miracle Cure for me, and best thing it's natural and easy. This cure doesn't involve anything but your mind and the alphabet, you start with the letter A and choose whichever topic you like, I started with cities in the USA and tried to think of each one according to the alphabet, A to Z, a week later I started with Country's, the next week towns in the northeast, whatever you choose trust me it works. I had serious doubts even as I was into mid alphabet and State my first try, I thought how is thinking so hard going to put me to sleep, well it's the thinking on one subject and not the mind-wandering from subject to subject that does it because it really works! Try not and veer off, sometimes I go through two alphabet tries but undoubtedly on mid third try I'm asleep, it AmaZing!

Let me know if this works for You, I would Love to hear the stories!

Comfy Shoes With STYLE

If you ask most women ( and I've asked a lot ) comfortable, cute and sexy shoes do NOT go in the same sentence, but I was on a mission to prove them wrong and wrong I did, or did I?

Ok you can't compare Kork Ease or Taryn Rose to Christian Louboutin and Jimmy Choo, I get it, for that kind of sexy you will have to suffer, unless you do as I have done and bought all kinds of gel insoles, foot beds and the such, which give me a few hours of somewhat comfort in some designer brands, but all in all it's not good I end up throwing the shoes across the floor as soon as I enter my house, ok not really throwing just sort of sliding ( too expensive to throw) but I do feel like throwing these over priced torture bearers!!

I have been doing my own serious research in the hope to find this oxy moron of a statement, sexy comfy shoes. I live in Miami where women on a daily basis pry their delicate feet into 5 inch and higher heels, and not just a night, our jewelry Store (Turchin Love and Light Jewelry, www.turchinjewelry.com) is in the heart of Miami's Design District across from a very famous restaurant, Michaels Genuine and I see women who lunch daily come strolling in with their (gorgeous mind you)7 inch torture chamber Christian Louboutins, extremely pointy and spiked and deliciously sexy Valentino's, and I first lust at the sheer beauty, come to my senses then gawk at how they manage to get around, obviously they can't be going back to the office, I secretly imagine (like me) that they have a stash of flip flops and cushy sneakers in the back seat if their cars that they eagerly slip into after a luncheon with the girls.

Then I remember how I used to treat my feet in my teens and twenties, and how I could stand for hours in a club with terribly made five inch heels on, God must give us the energy and pain tolerance in these years to ignore our aching feet, but wakes us up to the truth later in life, how unfair! 

So my hunt goes on, and I am happy but sad to say although I found some very cute, even slightly edgy styles I didn't find anything that is all out sex kitten. So that being said some of my favorites I've tried and loved ( my feet too! ).

Andre Assous make a very cool shoe, his foot bed is cushioned and he uses elastic banding on some of his styles that doesn't look granny, I have had compliments in Miami on his shoes, I really like his black suede and rivet styles for fall.

I have never tried Gentle Souls but Freind's have and Love their comfortable and vintage inspired designs, I love the tall gladiator myself!

Kork Ease are very light and also cushy to walk in though pretty high, I'm not afraid of some height so love these styles for spring and summer.

Rock port is a more conservative brand that delivers comfort with style, check out their cheetah print booties, I would give them a go, anything animal print I always say!

Good luck in the Hunt for your comy cute shoes and please let me know what Yiu find I would Love to hear from you. 

Hugs, Luv, and Comfort....ahhhh

Theresa

Botox As Antidepressant, Smiling for Peace

Does smiling makes us Happy? Well that makes sense, in general if we're smiling we must be responding to something positive, right, unless of course were smiling for the camera, or smiling when a passerby says hi, when we answer the phone, to a co worker, and so on and so forth, so do those "fake" smiles trigger a happiness button, some researchers would say yes!

In 1989, a psychologist named Robert Zajonc published one of the most significant studies on the emotional effect of producing a smile.

His subjects repeated vowel sounds that forced their faces into various expressions. To mimic some of the characteristics of a smile, they made the long "e" sound, which stretches the corners of the mouth outward. Other vowel sounds were also tested, including the long "u," which forces the mouth into a pouty expression.

Subjects reported feeling good after making the long "e" sound, and feeling bad after the long "u."

Other studies reported similar results. One had subjects make the positive and negative expressions by holding a pen in their mouths, either protruding outward for a pout or held lengthwise in the teeth to make a smile. In another, researchers had subjects mimic each physiological trait of a smile until their faces were in a full Duchenne expression.

Charles Darwin first posed the idea that emotional responses influence our feelings in 1872. “The free expression by outward signs of an emotion intensifies it,” he wrote. The esteemed 19th-century psychologist William James went so far as to assert that if a person does not express an emotion, he has not felt it at all. Although few scientists would agree with such a statement today, there is evidence that emotions involve more than just the brain. The face, in particular, appears to play a big role.

We smile because we are happy, and we frown because we are sad. But does the causal arrow ( cause and effect) point in the other direction, too? A bunch of recent studies of Botox recipients suggests that our emotions are reinforced—perhaps even driven—by their corresponding facial expressions, hmm so how does freezing expressions with Botox injections work into these studies I'm wondering?

This past February psychologists at the University of Cardiff in Wales found that people whose ability to frown is compromised by cosmetic botox injections are happier, on average, than people who can frown, is this good news? The researchers administered an anxiety and depression questionnaire to 25 females, half of whom had received frown-inhibiting botox injections. The botox recipients reported feeling happier and less anxious in general; more important, they did not report feeling any more attractive, which suggests that the emotional effects were not driven by a psychological boost that could come from the treatment’s cosmetic nature.

“It would appear that the way we feel emotions isn’t just restricted to our brain—there are parts of our bodies that help and reinforce the feelings we’re having,” says Michael Lewis, a co-author of the study. “It’s like a feedback loop.” In a related study from March, scientists at the Technical University of Munich in Germany scanned botox recipients with MRI machines while asking them to mimic angry faces. They found that the botox subjects had much lower activity in the brain circuits involved in emotional processing and responses—in the amygdala, hypothalamus and parts of the brain stem—as compared with controls who had not received treatment.

The concept works the opposite way, too—enhancing emotions rather than suppressing them. People who frown during an unpleasant procedure report feeling more pain than those who do not, according to a study published in May 2008 in the Journal of Pain. Researchers applied heat to the forearms of 29 participants, who were asked to either make unhappy, neutral or relaxed faces during the procedure. Those who exhibited negative expressions reported being in more pain than the other two groups. Lewis, who was not involved in that study, says he plans to study the effect that botox injections have on pain perception. “It’s possible that people may feel less pain if they’re unable to express it,” he says.

I've always believed in the power of a smile to make me feel better and make someone else feel better, I've done my own research in our jewelry store in Miami (www.turchinjewelry.com) when an unusually grumpy person comes in I've gone out of my way to smile consistently at them as hard as it might be and at times it's been a real challenge, but I have seen very negative people turn around in from of my face, it astounds me every time!! So let all try and smile more maybe if we play this forward we'll be a world of smiling faces, even peace could be possible!

Andy Rooney Loves Women Over 40!

I had to share this hysterically funny and honestly true passage by the late Andy Rooney, a modern day philosopher!

Andy Rooney says: 

As I grow in age, I value women who are over 40 most of all. 

Here are just a few reasons why: 

A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask,"What are you thinking?" 

She doesn't care what you think. 

If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit 

Around whining about it.She does something she wants to do. 

And, it's usually something more interesting. 

A woman over 40 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, 

What she is, what she wants and from whom. 

Few women past the age of 40 give a hoot what you might think about her 

Or what she's doing. 

Women over 40 are dignified.They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the 

Middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course,if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, 

If they think they can get away with it. 

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. 

They know what it's like to be unappreciated. 

A woman over 40 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. 

A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend 

Because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Women over 40 Couldn't care less if you're attracted 

To her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her. 

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40. 

They always know. A woman over 40 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. 

This is not true of younger women. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, 

A woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart. 

Older women are forthright and honest. 

They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk, if you are acting like one! 

You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her. 

Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. 

Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 40+, there is a 

Bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress. 

Ladies, I apologize. 

For all those men who say,"Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free", here's an update 

For you. Now 80% of women are against marriage, why? 

Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig, just to get a little sausage.

Positive Thinking Equals Getting Pregnant

Dierdre Morris, The Fertility Evolution

By Deidre Morris, MSc., M.Ed., TheFertilityEvolution.com

In his research with stem cells, Dr. Bruce Lipton Ph.D. concluded that the most important factor in determining what happens in the human body is the mind.  According to him, our interpretations and perceptions affect our blood and that this in turn determines the fate of cells.

Below, I share 10 tips aimed at empowering women over 40 trying to conceive to harness the power of this research so that you can have your baby over 40 and well beyond.

"I didn't even realize this is what I was doing but I used this positive thinking approach To get pregnant naturally at 43 and it worked, even after a miscarriage!   "Theresa Turchin (owner/ designer Turchin Love&Light Light Jewelry)

Tip 1: Interpret Evidence of Your Fertility

Instead of assuming that your chances of getting pregnant are reducing with each month, choose to see your period as powerful evidence of your fertility and view it as your body letting go of what needs to be shed before you and your baby come together.

Tip 2: Interpret Fertility Statistics

Dr. Jean Twenge shares that ‘millions of women are being told when to get pregnant based on statistics from a time before electricity, antibiotics, or fertility treatment’. When you hear negative statistics, you can interpret them as numbers that just don’t apply to your unique fertility journey.

 Tip 3: Interpret Evidence of Your Motherhood

When you see a pregnant woman or hear the news of yet another pregnancy, allow yourself to receive it as a reminder of your own proximity with pregnancy. When somebody asks if you have children, assume that she/he is picking up on your imminent pregnancy and giving you a sign!

 Tip 4: Interpret Your Emotions

It is the feminine that brings forth new life. Begin to honor your feelings and emotions. Remember that when you are emotional, it is just evidence of the feminine in you expressing herself and paving the way for even greater expression in the form of a baby!

Tip 5: Interpret The Friendship of Your Body

Your body really is your friend. Choose to believe that it is completely on your side and preparing beautifully for your baby even if you cannot perceive the details right now. Get into the habit of thanking your body for all that it does and being a safe, nourishing space for your baby.

Tip 6: Perceive Your Youth

Make a long list of all your youthful aspects or anything that points to you being young and fit e.g. being able to stretch and move with ease, your laughter, your wonder etc. Read this often and add it so that you become more and more aware of your true youthfulness.

 Tip 7: Perceive The Child Within

Start doing the things that you loved as a child. Skip down the street. Dance to your favorite tune. Make a daisy chain. Sing out loud. Every day spend time with your own inner child as preparation for special time with your little one.

Tip 8: Perceive Support For Your Motherhood

Even if they are not conscious of it, decide the every person and experience is guiding you into motherhood (especially those who seem insensitive). In your mind, thank them for supporting healthy, mature motherhood in ways that neither of you are aware of yet.

 Tip 9:  Perceive Your Fertility

It is understandable that we need to share sadness. But if you keep on beating the drum of loss, that becomes the environment that shapes what is happening in your body. Replace infertility discussions with fertility ones so that the latter can become dominant in your vibration.

Tip 10: Perceive Positive Others

It matters who you share your time with. Others’ fears and beliefs have an impact on what you are thinking. Choose to spend time with people who are confident in your ability to have a baby over 40 and will hold that vision for you even when you feel shaky.

Anti Frizz Miracle

Two summers ago I had my hair straightened using a keratin based product at my salon Hair Dragon in Miami's Design District. My stylist Samantha recommended I use a sulfate free shampoo and conditioner to further help keep the Miami frizzies away. Sure whatever it takes to ward off those evil enemy's so I can partake in my smooth fantasy hair days. The price tag was high but like I said anything to keep those enemy's at bay. I was hooked immediately now don't get me wrong you don't use these products and let your chemically colored hair dry naturally and expect a miracle, I do blow dry my hair in less time about twelve minutes to be exact, I have long past my shoulders, wavy, fine but lots of hair. So these products cut down my drying time by half and I get a really smooth sleek style.

The other great NEWS is that these sulfate free products are available at drug stores for a third of the cost of the designer brands. I still like my NJoy brand it's the richest shampoo I've ever used!!

So what are sulfates also known as  SLS's??

While it’s not a carcinogen despite unfounded rumors, it is a common detergent found in tons of household items including laundry detergent, dish soap, toothpaste and the list goes on. If you don’t believe me, just read your labels. (I did.) I will NOT go back that is disgusting!

Some brands to try⚫

Try some and please share your experiences I would Love to hear from you.

Pregnancy After Forty Is Possible ( my story part 3 )

I just woke up this morning and Realized I have a 4 and 3/4 year old... How the heck did that happen!!!???!

Wasn't I just pregnant, I remember my miscarriage in detail, I remember his birth, the joy, the pain, the utterly otherworldly experience. So how come he's almost five? Where did the time go?

Everyone will tell you make sure you enjoy your kids because before you know it they'll 

be grown up and off to college. I have heeded this advice and remember it just about daily; so I have made myself more available to my son, not an easy task with owning our own business which includes a retail store, a manufacturing company,and a wholesale company, we have a jewelry brand called Turchin Love and Light. I'm exhausted just writing about my responsibilities and that doesn't include what my son and I do on a week day basis; after school activities and play dates are de rigueur. 

My husband that gem of a man takes him to something special on Saturdays then it's family day on Sunday. Life will never be about sleeping in and staying out late again for me unless I want to haunt the bar scene when I'm over sixty, no thank you been there done that! 

What I really want to say here is forget the cleaning up, the exact schedule, or whatever holds you back from enjoying your kids, from time to time, I know it's hard to do but force your self because the look on their little beautiful face when you put down the dishes and decide instead to play cops and robbers, barbies, or listen to the new song they just made up about poop and pee is priceless, as well as those song lyrics!!

Chic Accessory or Caped Crusader

I love a good cape, maybe it's my childhood fantasies of little red riding hood, maybe that I've always loved dressing up, or maybe because I always knew they were cool, hmmm its probably the first answer. 

Wether you like them or not Capes are back, for now anyway and who's to say for how long but this fall/winter 2013 they have never looked better, so pull out and brush off that dusty old cape from the back of your closet, or find a cool vintage one at your local thrift/vintage store or splurge on one of the designer capes shown here. In my opinion they look best with understated adornments and style, like skinny jeans and a white shirt or black tailored pants and a simple understated top, let the cape stand out not what's under to give this look a modern twist if not you risk looking dated and vintage yourself.

Pain Relievers Making You Sick???

I had the typical flu symptoms, headache, low energy, muscle aches, I felt like I was dragging three hundred pounds around that day and I had to entertain my four year old all weekend since my husband had to work. Ok so I shouldn't have taken two Alleve but I did, and to make matters worse since I was still feeling achy five hours later I took two more. Good thing the aches went away and didn't come back, bad thing I was up most of the night with the most terrible heart burn, it started in my chest and radiated to my back, if it weren't for the tums I somehow managed to find in the back of our medicine cabinet I wouldn't have slept at all.

So what's the deal with medications that tear your stomach up like that??

Medications for heart disease, or an anti-inflammatory drug for arthritis, pain medications, and certain cancer drugs, are meds you may need to take, but every time you take your medication, it seems like the cure is worse that the condition. Painful heartburn flares up, from your stomach to your throat. You may even have acid reflux -- where food and stomach acid "burps" back up from your stomach, with that awful, irritating taste.

"Unfortunately, it's just the way that it works," says Tara O'Brien, PharmD, a pharmacy manager at Pharmaca in Seattle, a national, integrative pharmacy network combining Western medicine with self-care. "You put a chemical in your body, your body responds, and as long as you're taking the medication, the symptoms are going to be there."

Foods to Avoid when heartburn strikes🔹

🔷Tomato based foods

🔷Citrus

🔷Alcohol

🔷Fatty Foods

🔷Caffeinated Beverages

🔷Mints

🔷Chocolate ( what!!!)

Medications That Cause Heartburn🔹

🔷Aspirin

🔷NSAIDs (nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs) such as ibuprofen and naproxen

🔷Antihistamines such as Benadryl

🔷Antibiotics such as tetracycline

🔷Heart medications such as Procardia, Inderal, Tenormin, and Cardizem

🔷Anti-anxiety medications such as Valium or Ativan

🔷Osteoporosis medications, such as Fosamax

🔷Steroid medications such as prednisone

🔷Chemotherapy drugs and radiation therapy for cancer

🔷Nitrates and nitroglycerin

🔷Anticholinergics such as Antispas and Robinul

🔷Narcotics such as Demerol

🔷Potassium

🔷Iron supplements

🔷Theophylline

🔷Vitamin C

There Must be a Better Way🔹

1. Review your medications with your doctor. Talk with your doctor to review your complete list of medications -- and not just the ones that particular doctor is prescribing -- but all your drugs. Perhaps your doctor can change the dose, the time of day you take the medication, the brand, or method of delivery -- such as a slow-release instead of fast-acting pill.

2. Talk with a pharmacist. Take the time to sit down and speak with a pharmacist and show them your entire drug list, not just the medication you think is causing the heartburn, says O'Brien. A pharmacist is trained to look for drug interactions and side effects and suggest ways to ease the burn.

3. Move all your prescriptions to one pharmacy. Doctors don't always have the time to double-check all of the other medications you may be taking when they prescribe a new drug. Your cardiologist may not know what your rheumatologist has prescribed for arthritis -- and drug interactions between those two drugs might be causing your heartburn. A pharmacist can help identify the causes of heartburn -- and possible solutions -- but only if you give them the full picture of everything -- and that means everything -- you're taking.

4. Try ginger tea and natural remedies. Look for simple, natural solutions first, says O'Brien. Some medications can be taken with alternative health remedies, depending on what the medication is, says O'Brien. Try herbal teas, like ginger tea, that soothe and aid digestion. But always check with your doctor first before trying any new herb or supplement. Even "harmless," natural remedies can interfere with how some medications work -- either boosting or blocking their effects.

My heartburn from my "Alleve" experience lasted for three days, obviously I won't be doing that again but what happens if I have some serious aches and pains again???

 I will be taking Tylenol, the recommended dose, and if I need be I'll take an anti inflammatory but will definitly watch what I ingest  making sure I don't eat extra acids including tomato based foods, citrus,  chocolates coffee or alcohol.....all the best foods.

Draped Tops That Flatter

I've always loved draping as far back as when the talented designer Norma Kamali (1980's) came out with her fantastically draped bathing suits reminiscent of fifties pinup girls. Her beautiful suits that you could equally wear as clothing were so expertly draped they just made your figure look the best it could look, adding curves where you wanted then taking inches away where you didn't want them!

What every fashionable women is looking for, and so hard to find these days! 

Most clothing we see in department and multi branded stores is made overseas and mostly in China where quality and craftsmanship are not important, seemingly. What a shame.

Draping is very fashionable at the moment and seems to come and go pretty frequently so a quality draped top you buy now will come and go with the trends for at least a decade or more, so buy one now but be wise and choose a draped top that has been made with a quality fabric and draping that isn't too trendy. Some designers I think do great draping with quality are mind you not inexpensive but will last you season after season are, Donna Karen, Phillip Lim, Lanvin, Rick Owens, and Kaufmanfranco, if you can afford them they are worth it, if not I've included some mid priced brands that do a good job but if you need to hide anything at all you will need to wear some form of shape wear (aka girdle) with these tops since the fabric is not as forgiving as the big ticket designers.

Pimples over 30 Part 2

Ok  in my last post about pimples after thirty five I discussed where oily skin comes from, our hormones, specifically hormones called Androgens that stimulate healthy oil production, and while that truly has benefit for your skin, it is a problem when androgens stimulate too much oil to be produced!

 When too much oil is produced the pores become larger to accommodate the excess oil production. Excess androgens can also cause the pore lining to thicken, which blocks oil from getting out of the pore, and that can result in blackheads and white bumps, my forehead used to be covered in them! This is why it is so important to cleanse well every night and exfoliate gently but regularly says Dr. Joshua Zeichner, director of cosmetic and clinical research in the dermatology department at Mount Sinai Medical Center in New York. 

But aging skin is also drier, in part because of the cumulative effects of sun exposure. So when it comes to treatment, “less can be more, especially when it comes to adult acne,” Dr. Zeichner said.

He suggests tossing out creams, gels or lotions containing 5 or 10 percent benzoyl peroxide, the standard antiseptic for teenage acne (which is on oily, durable skin).

Effective treatment does not necessarily require skin irritation,” Dr. Zeichner said.

So what are gentle treatments that work?

I just started using this Kiehls cleanser and even though it says for all skin types it so far has been a wonderful change for me, my skin is less red and irritated looking after I wash it at night and its actually smoother too and only after a week! I still don't use a moisturizer at night since my skin produces lots of oil overnight. I do use Clinique dark circle eye cream and that seems to be working, I don't break out from it like most other eye creams I've tried no matter the price.

Parenting Young Children After 40

Many parents these days seem to be having their first child after age forty.

 A variety of personal reasons can lead to delaying parenthood, including:

⚫Career goals.

⚫Divorce and remarrying (or not).

⚫Difficulties becoming pregnant.

⚫ There is also speculation that some families have delayed parenthood due to the recession.

Whatever the reason, the percentage of babies born to moms over 40 is increasing, while the overall birth rate is declining, according to government data.

New parents are very alike despite the age:

⚫We experience similar joys and challenges

⚫Everyone falls in love with their child

⚫Everyone feels overwhelmed by parenting at times

Fatigue⚫HELP!!

As far as energy goes, though, an older parent may find it difficult to match the energy of a toddler. 

I am a very energetic woman who has always exercised regularly and taken care of myself but the sleepless nights( four years till our son slept through a night) took their heavy toll on me and threw me into a dark hole of poor health, zero energy or patience for that matter. 

This was the most joyful yet most challenging time of my life, here I had this miracle baby at a week shy of my 44th birthday but here I was with little or no energy to enjoy him! It sucked at times.

Older Parents Share...

⚫If you are working outside the home, you may be at a point in your career where you have a little more independence in your work life than when you were in your 20’s.

⚫Older parents may be less idealistic and more realistic about parenting after watching challenges their friends and family faced before them. 

⚫They may be able to be more deliberate and plan better as parents for their child's future.

⚫Many older parents describe themselves as being able to appreciate parenting a little more than had they been younger, I for sure can relate to this since I had a lot of growing up to do, and still do my son teaches me that regularly!

Conquer Your Fears (Part 1)

Admit it we all have fears, we wouldn't be human without them, but some of us definitely have more fears than others, seemingly anyway. Fear is the word we use to describe our emotional reaction to something that seems dangerous. But the word "fear" is used in another way too; to name something a person often feels afraid of.

I began to think about where fears come from after living with someone who had a fear based anxiety   disorder. Are we born with certain survival instincts, or are fears here to protect us, say fear of wild animals, of heights, excessive speed, of deep water, etc?

Yes certain fears can be healthy if it cautions us to stay safe around something that could be dangerous. But sometimes a fear is unnecessary and causes more caution than the situation calls for.

Overcoming A Fear Of Mine:

I used to drive on the same highway pass for months with no problem at all until one day for some reason while I was driving on this very curvy over pass I felt a weird pang in my stomach, a terrible nervous sensation, I was immediately afraid, I kept concentrating on where I was going and was soon off the pass and on the highway. What had just happened??!! I tried not to think about it and just wrote it off as a one time thing. The next time I came upon the over pass though I didn't think a thing about it until the same feelings came over me, but this time with the added bonus of unnerving tingling sensations in my legs, Holy SH&@!!!!! I tried my best to compose myself so I could get off the pass and onto the highway without God knows what happening.

I had no idea where this fear came from, or what to do about it, my first thought was that I would find ways around that overpass so I would never ever have to go that way again. Then I started to think back to my childhood, and remembered some fears and apprehensions I'd had, I clearly remembered a couple times when my mother didn't steer me away but guided me in the direction of my fear, and I overcame them!! I sat there remembering the feeling of being afraid, and best of all I remember with much satisfaction and pride moving away from those fears with her guidance, I knew what I needed to do but wasn't happy about it.

It took me several months going over that overpass with numb legs and serious stomach cramps, but it was ultimately worth all of those uncomfortable feelings since I know that specific fear could have grown into something much bigger. I drive regularly on over passes now, (I won't lie)with a little bit of unease but nothing compared to what it was. I will always try to move in the direction of fear instead of turning around and running, I want to feel freedom in myself, this can take work and challenging tasks but so worth every effort you make!