Another Day in Paradise

The other day I was at my sons elementary school picking him up early when I started talking to another mom, as we were walking towards our cars she said something like, "what a beautiful day" that's when  said, "yes it's another beautiful day in paradise" and she said, "paradise"?? I'm not sure we live in paradise. I kind of shrugged and got into my car, I didn't think too much about our short conversation until a couple days later, when I was driving on our beautiful Miami Beach causeway over turquoise water under a stunning blue sky, hmmm I thought, isn't this paradise ??!!

 Ok this city isn't perfect, sure I get that, I was raised in the northeast, surrounded by beautiful country side , horses, cows, farms, acres of land, and bitter cold winters that went on and on, I dreamed of living in a place like Miami Beach when I was a kid, and here I am now, I feel pretty lucky! 

Besides that I started to think about what else makes this place paradise, maybe it's not just the place but the gifts, the blessings we are afforded that create the paradise?

So I started to make my list, here I go again....

I didn't need the list at all this was easy, paradise is having people to love and who love you back, good health, and well all the other stuff is icing on the proverbial Cake, so yes it's true, another Beautiful Day in Paradise.

Positive Thinking Equals Getting Pregnant

Dierdre Morris, The Fertility Evolution

By Deidre Morris, MSc., M.Ed., TheFertilityEvolution.com

In his research with stem cells, Dr. Bruce Lipton Ph.D. concluded that the most important factor in determining what happens in the human body is the mind.  According to him, our interpretations and perceptions affect our blood and that this in turn determines the fate of cells.

Below, I share 10 tips aimed at empowering women over 40 trying to conceive to harness the power of this research so that you can have your baby over 40 and well beyond.

"I didn't even realize this is what I was doing but I used this positive thinking approach To get pregnant naturally at 43 and it worked, even after a miscarriage!   "Theresa Turchin (owner/ designer Turchin Love&Light Light Jewelry)

Tip 1: Interpret Evidence of Your Fertility

Instead of assuming that your chances of getting pregnant are reducing with each month, choose to see your period as powerful evidence of your fertility and view it as your body letting go of what needs to be shed before you and your baby come together.

Tip 2: Interpret Fertility Statistics

Dr. Jean Twenge shares that ‘millions of women are being told when to get pregnant based on statistics from a time before electricity, antibiotics, or fertility treatment’. When you hear negative statistics, you can interpret them as numbers that just don’t apply to your unique fertility journey.

 Tip 3: Interpret Evidence of Your Motherhood

When you see a pregnant woman or hear the news of yet another pregnancy, allow yourself to receive it as a reminder of your own proximity with pregnancy. When somebody asks if you have children, assume that she/he is picking up on your imminent pregnancy and giving you a sign!

 Tip 4: Interpret Your Emotions

It is the feminine that brings forth new life. Begin to honor your feelings and emotions. Remember that when you are emotional, it is just evidence of the feminine in you expressing herself and paving the way for even greater expression in the form of a baby!

Tip 5: Interpret The Friendship of Your Body

Your body really is your friend. Choose to believe that it is completely on your side and preparing beautifully for your baby even if you cannot perceive the details right now. Get into the habit of thanking your body for all that it does and being a safe, nourishing space for your baby.

Tip 6: Perceive Your Youth

Make a long list of all your youthful aspects or anything that points to you being young and fit e.g. being able to stretch and move with ease, your laughter, your wonder etc. Read this often and add it so that you become more and more aware of your true youthfulness.

 Tip 7: Perceive The Child Within

Start doing the things that you loved as a child. Skip down the street. Dance to your favorite tune. Make a daisy chain. Sing out loud. Every day spend time with your own inner child as preparation for special time with your little one.

Tip 8: Perceive Support For Your Motherhood

Even if they are not conscious of it, decide the every person and experience is guiding you into motherhood (especially those who seem insensitive). In your mind, thank them for supporting healthy, mature motherhood in ways that neither of you are aware of yet.

 Tip 9:  Perceive Your Fertility

It is understandable that we need to share sadness. But if you keep on beating the drum of loss, that becomes the environment that shapes what is happening in your body. Replace infertility discussions with fertility ones so that the latter can become dominant in your vibration.

Tip 10: Perceive Positive Others

It matters who you share your time with. Others’ fears and beliefs have an impact on what you are thinking. Choose to spend time with people who are confident in your ability to have a baby over 40 and will hold that vision for you even when you feel shaky.

Pimples over 30 Part 2

Ok  in my last post about pimples after thirty five I discussed where oily skin comes from, our hormones, specifically hormones called Androgens that stimulate healthy oil production, and while that truly has benefit for your skin, it is a problem when androgens stimulate too much oil to be produced!

 When too much oil is produced the pores become larger to accommodate the excess oil production. Excess androgens can also cause the pore lining to thicken, which blocks oil from getting out of the pore, and that can result in blackheads and white bumps, my forehead used to be covered in them! This is why it is so important to cleanse well every night and exfoliate gently but regularly says Dr. Joshua Zeichner, director of cosmetic and clinical research in the dermatology department at Mount Sinai Medical Center in New York. 

But aging skin is also drier, in part because of the cumulative effects of sun exposure. So when it comes to treatment, “less can be more, especially when it comes to adult acne,” Dr. Zeichner said.

He suggests tossing out creams, gels or lotions containing 5 or 10 percent benzoyl peroxide, the standard antiseptic for teenage acne (which is on oily, durable skin).

Effective treatment does not necessarily require skin irritation,” Dr. Zeichner said.

So what are gentle treatments that work?

I just started using this Kiehls cleanser and even though it says for all skin types it so far has been a wonderful change for me, my skin is less red and irritated looking after I wash it at night and its actually smoother too and only after a week! I still don't use a moisturizer at night since my skin produces lots of oil overnight. I do use Clinique dark circle eye cream and that seems to be working, I don't break out from it like most other eye creams I've tried no matter the price.

Conquer Your Fears (Part 1)

Admit it we all have fears, we wouldn't be human without them, but some of us definitely have more fears than others, seemingly anyway. Fear is the word we use to describe our emotional reaction to something that seems dangerous. But the word "fear" is used in another way too; to name something a person often feels afraid of.

I began to think about where fears come from after living with someone who had a fear based anxiety   disorder. Are we born with certain survival instincts, or are fears here to protect us, say fear of wild animals, of heights, excessive speed, of deep water, etc?

Yes certain fears can be healthy if it cautions us to stay safe around something that could be dangerous. But sometimes a fear is unnecessary and causes more caution than the situation calls for.

Overcoming A Fear Of Mine:

I used to drive on the same highway pass for months with no problem at all until one day for some reason while I was driving on this very curvy over pass I felt a weird pang in my stomach, a terrible nervous sensation, I was immediately afraid, I kept concentrating on where I was going and was soon off the pass and on the highway. What had just happened??!! I tried not to think about it and just wrote it off as a one time thing. The next time I came upon the over pass though I didn't think a thing about it until the same feelings came over me, but this time with the added bonus of unnerving tingling sensations in my legs, Holy SH&@!!!!! I tried my best to compose myself so I could get off the pass and onto the highway without God knows what happening.

I had no idea where this fear came from, or what to do about it, my first thought was that I would find ways around that overpass so I would never ever have to go that way again. Then I started to think back to my childhood, and remembered some fears and apprehensions I'd had, I clearly remembered a couple times when my mother didn't steer me away but guided me in the direction of my fear, and I overcame them!! I sat there remembering the feeling of being afraid, and best of all I remember with much satisfaction and pride moving away from those fears with her guidance, I knew what I needed to do but wasn't happy about it.

It took me several months going over that overpass with numb legs and serious stomach cramps, but it was ultimately worth all of those uncomfortable feelings since I know that specific fear could have grown into something much bigger. I drive regularly on over passes now, (I won't lie)with a little bit of unease but nothing compared to what it was. I will always try to move in the direction of fear instead of turning around and running, I want to feel freedom in myself, this can take work and challenging tasks but so worth every effort you make!

Relationship SOS Gimme Space

A fabulous quote in the must read book The Prophet says this about marriage, "let there be spaces in your togetherness, and let the winds of the heavens dance between you." I translate this as I need my space, you need your space we will both be happier and more content when we have some "separate" time. 

I always thought a happy and healthy marriage meant spending as much time as possible together, I mean if your in love shouldn't you be together a lot??! I got it all wrong, 99% of couples need their own space, time to be individuals and not part of someone else, time to contemplate, and then back to the couple again.

The hardest time in my relationship with my husband was soon after the birth of our son, we were together all the time the three of us, we rarely went anywhere without our baby or each other. This put a lot of strain on our relationship, because we were a three, it wasn't about us as individuals anymore, true when you become a part of a relationship its not all about you and when you add a baby to the mix its even less about you. But that doesn't mean you should loose who you are, you do evolve but it's so important to evolve into a person you have control of, a person you got to know along the way, not a person who was dragged along in a coma.

My husband and I still  haven't found that happy medium, I always have to remind myself to find time for myself, without my husband and son. I love them dearly but the space is necessary  and makes me a much happier, more sane, ultimately better person.

Pregnancy After 40 is Possible (My Story) Part 1

I always wanted children, because that's what your supposed to do right? After around thirty I began to feel the emotional tug of wanting a baby for a few weeks at a time then it would go away, come back again, and so on and so forth till my husband and I decided to adopt a baby from China many years later. Something I had dreamed of doing ever since China opened international adoptions of their "unwanted" daughters, my thinking at the time was that the world didn't need any more children but to help the babies that needed us the most.

A year after filling out mounds of paperwork, home studies, health examines, and basically spilling every detail of our lives, our paper work was sent to China with a log in date of May 12 2007.

When we first started the adoption journey we were told it would be about 1-2 years before we would be matched with our baby girl. Quickly I realized this just wasn't going to be the case as the increase in family's that were adopting from China seemed to dramatically slow down the adoption system to a snails pace. My husband and I were antsy and felt overly ready to be parents. We had never tried to get pregnant, I'd always tried Not to, but I was beginning to have second thoughts.

So we decided to give it a go, we would still adopt from China, but now our Chinese daughter would have an older brother or sister. Low and behold I conceived the second month, wow we were beyond over the moon, funny how quickly you fantasize about what you'll do as a family, how life will be, Disney World, school plays, we heard the baby's heart beat, it was heavenly, then I miscarried in my third month. 

From the highest high to lowest low in a moment laying on the OBGYN's table, "I am so sorry I don't hear a heart beat" he said and rest is a blur as I began to sob, and didn't stop for days. Eventually I peeled myself out of a depression that only in the slowest sense began to heal a little day after day, why did this hit me like a ton of bricks? 

Well not only is miscarriage a serious and painful loss, but I started to think that maybe my only chance to conceive was gone, I was 42 after all. Not a fun time, but in typical character I began to think positively about conceiving again to the point of buying positive and inspirational CDs for my car and listening non stop. Anytime a negative thought or fear about getting pregnant came into my head I would push the crap out of it with a positive!! A Lot of sex and positivity later we were blessed with a healthy pregnancy and birth almost exactly a year later, I was 44.

My Cutie at 7 months