A fabulous quote in the must read book The Prophet says this about marriage, "let there be spaces in your togetherness, and let the winds of the heavens dance between you." I translate this as I need my space, you need your space we will both be happier and more content when we have some "separate" time.
I always thought a happy and healthy marriage meant spending as much time as possible together, I mean if your in love shouldn't you be together a lot??! I got it all wrong, 99% of couples need their own space, time to be individuals and not part of someone else, time to contemplate, and then back to the couple again.
The hardest time in my relationship with my husband was soon after the birth of our son, we were together all the time the three of us, we rarely went anywhere without our baby or each other. This put a lot of strain on our relationship, because we were a three, it wasn't about us as individuals anymore, true when you become a part of a relationship its not all about you and when you add a baby to the mix its even less about you. But that doesn't mean you should loose who you are, you do evolve but it's so important to evolve into a person you have control of, a person you got to know along the way, not a person who was dragged along in a coma.
My husband and I still haven't found that happy medium, I always have to remind myself to find time for myself, without my husband and son. I love them dearly but the space is necessary and makes me a much happier, more sane, ultimately better person.
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